Grey days

This has been our weather lately - grey days with lots of rain. I'm struggling with the gloom so my photos are uninspired. I'm also struggling to meet my deadline of finishing The Maloney Boys of Conburroi (working title of my next story) by the end of March because the day job went crazy. Sometimes I take on too much. Will I never learn!?

Writing Thoughts

I've rewritten the Maloney Boys of Conburroi following advice from an editor. It's now Jess's story, which changes the focus of the whole story and has caused more issues for me and the publisher! :) These issues aren't necessarily bad things, just things that need to be sorted out before we go further.

I've been away and that's given me time to think...and read other books. Here's a summary of the thoughts:

I've struggled to let Maloney Boys go. Even after changing the focus I've been thinking that one day I'd put out the original story because I thought it was deeper and better and more faceted and ... well, you know, it's mine so I'm going to love it no matter how horrible it really it.

Then I started reading Go Set A Watchman. To Kill A Mockingbird was one of my favourite books at school, and so I was keen to read Watchman. I even reread Mockingbird so it was fresh in my mind. I started reading...and was completely and utterly horrified - people had died or weren't in this story, people I loved (characters you might call them, but to me, they're real!).

And Scout, her voice had changed. Of course, she'd grown up, but it was still shattering to me.

As yet I haven't finished it. I'm not sure I can. I'm going to Book Club today and I'll ask the ladies there for their opinion and that may change my horror and I may finish it yet. I am halfway, so I could finish it.

But reading this, I started thinking about the genius of the editor (or whoever it was) that picked the best bits out of Watchman and sent Harper Lee away to tell that story. It's genius to see that.

Which made me think...

I've been told to pull apart Maloney Boys. My editor is probably a genius too. Am I becoming Harper Lee? Am I going to wait for years thinking the original was the best when my editor knew better?

So, this time away to think and read has been good for me. I've sloughed off my love for my original story and now I'm going to love whatever story comes from it. The original was a draft. A clumsy draft by a new writer. My editor is crafting the best from it and making a better story.


I'm keen to see where my writing goes :)

And I'm off to book club now for a riveting discussion about Watchman, Jane Eyre and the Wide Sargasso Sea, followed by Purple Hibiscus.

Rewriting DONE!

This is how I feel today - flipping happy!

The Maloney Boys of Conburroi, now tentatively titled, Jess, has been rewritten...all 98 000 words. I cannot believe it.

It hasn't been an easy task...mostly because I kept doubting myself, losing faith in my story telling and my writing. But I have the best writing friends who've kept me going. They cheer me up when I'm down, they encourage me when I'm flailing, and best of all they've had belief in this story.

Without their encouragement, this story would have been tucked away in the back of my computer never to see the light of day. Without their sweet nagging, I would never have submitted it again and again. I would never have kept re-writing it after the latest round of editor's suggestions. I would never have tried to go digital. I would never have had it sent to the print section. And I would never ever have changed it to third person.

When others believe in you, give you compelling arguments, and know what they're talking about, you have to admit that you're wrong and trust them. You have to follow their advice, trust that they know, and hurl yourself into your re-write. You have to find what you love about your story and drag that out. You have to not worry when you think your story isn't telling what you wanted to tell - maybe it is, just in a different way.

So, it's been a struggle. A huge mental struggle for me. From mid-March until last night I've wrestled with my demons as I re-wrote my story.

It's a different story now...but you know what? I still love it.

These characters have been in my head since 2009 and they've developed and expanded and grown. I know them better than I know most of my friends! And they're relaxing now...again. They're hoping that their tale might be told and that they can rest. And oh, boy, am I sure hoping the same!!!

Rewriting: 1 down, 1 to go!

So, things are looking better for me now! One re-write is done, accepted, and its way to publication. Good luck little story.

The bigger re-write is almost done (75%) and although it's changed the focus of the story totally, and been a huge amount of work - far more than I even imagined - I'm kind of enjoying it (in a masochistic kind of way).

So things are happening - even though from my end it seems to be at the speed of a glacier!

Hopefully news soon. Fingers crossed.

A Most Frustrating Mind

I have the most annoying mind I've ever known, so thought this photo appropriate :)

I'm re-writing Maloney Boys...and I'm sending myself crazy doing it. It's not because it's the 5000 time I've done this. It's because I'm ahead of myself and second guessing my writing.

When I've written in the past I've written for me - my own enjoyment. I'm telling the story I want to tell. Writing how I want to write.

This time, I'm writing to suit a readership...and that's terrifying. I keep asking myself, is this word right? am I getting across the right message? am I telling the story someone will want to read? does she sound like a whinger? does she sound like a pushover? does she sound too tough? is she too young? too old? are her friends okay? is that what it's really like? is this going to work?

I've got myself into such a state I had a break of a few days and started writing something else because I was convinced this was all wrong.

I still don;t know for sure, but I'm going to forge ahead. I think it's my fears talking to me and trying to sabotage me. But it could be that I'm right and I've got this all wrong.

One day I'll know for sure.

In the meantime, Lunatic Lookout at Lightning Ridge seems like the right place for me at the moment. I'm sending myself crazy!

First to Third

So...how much work is involved in converting something in first person present tense, to something in third person past tense? I took a photo of my scribble on a page to show you. And this is the first draft of the change - I usually pick up things for a few more reads!

I'm re-writing!

This is like a continuous loop that I'm stuck on - like Groundhog Day or something! But I'm at it again. Re-writing Maloney Boys!!! You'd think I'd be over it, wouldn't you? But the lure of publication keeps me working away. I have my fingers crossed that it's right this time.

I've capitulated and gone to third person. I know I said I never would, but I have. I think it was when it was explained that my writing in first person, present tense was 'less accessible' to readers, that I realised I needed to change. I had probably realised before that because I spent January and February changing another story from 1st (I did this) to 3rd (She did this).

I learned when I changed the other one, that I get myself tangled in tenses and point of view when I try to do a direct changeover. I wasted a couple of weeks trying to work my poor fried brain out after I tried to do a search/replace. I'd been told that was easiest...I'm pretty sure that's wrong. Or it's wrong for me anyway. I had to rewrite each sentence...and that was painstaking when I couldn't remember what was present or past tense; first or third person!

This time I'm re-writing from scratch. On a nice clean shiny paper I've started. I know this book almost inside out and backwards, so it hasn't been too tricky as yet. And I've decided today I'm going to read a chapter the night before I start to re-write it, just so it's fresh. Because yesterday I remembered I had a great line I wanted to use. I pulled up the old manuscript and copied the line to re-write it. Except, then I wrote the next 2 paragraphs in first person. Not the best move!

If I read the night before, I hope I'll remember most things and transfer them across easily enough. I hope (cross fingers and toes). And I'm aiming for re-writing about 10K a week. I think that's do-able most weeks, unless the day job goes crazy. So for 100K, I'm looking at 10 weeks. Then editing time, so maybe 3 more months.

The book was started in 2009, so what's another 3 months? What's another re-write between friends!?

I hope I don't resort to drink! Although, I could add a few new rooms to the house - like this classic!

Beer Bottle House, White Cliffs, NSW.

Maloney Boys Update

I have been given the most incredible opportunity, so I have been adding words to my story, The Maloney Boys of Conburroi. It's taken me 5 weeks, which is far longer than I imagined it would take but it was far more difficult that I ever dreamed!

Waiting for the storm

So I'm back to the submission stage...but the good thing this time is that it will be published. The question is how and by who. And that takes a lot of the nail-biting away, for me. I only need to be patient to find out the answer. And after working on this story for so so so long, a little longer can't hurt (too much!).

When you write a story from 4 people's POV, to then go and add another 20% to it sounds easy because you have a lot to work with. But, oh, silly me, it's never as easy as it sounds. Why don't I know that yet?

My 4 stories are balanced rather evenly...and I needed to keep that balance.

I have a couple of large over-reaching issues, which I didn't want to detract from by adding smaller catastrophes.

I needed to keep the 4 strong (I hope) voices I have.

I needed the new words to work in seamlessly, so no one could tell that I added to the story.

My writing is rather sparse, so I couldn't just pad out with extra descriptions...besides 20% of added description would be impossible, surely!

So, those were the challenges. Add to them a shocking chest infection and a week's long holiday and I was majorly stressed. But I worked hard, thought a lot, and with the help of an amazing writing buddy,
a friend and my hubby, I hope I've managed it.

Stay tuned to see how I went - but be warned, this waiting game is serious!