Last week, I crumbled and I saw the exact point it happened. It was the straw that broke the camel's back... but I have a different analogy.
I feel like I am entrusted with glass rods. I hold out my arms and during my life, glass rods are slipped onto them. I carry them through life, sometimes passing them to others, sometimes holding them gently.
Last week I had a few too many land on me at once, unbalanced and not gently enough. I was teetering. I've been teetering for a while now but last week was where I knew they were going to fall.
And then after all the deaths and problems, on top of a cold, I had a phone call about work. A huge amount of excess work to arrive on my lap. Work I didn't need (well, of course I need the money, just don;t have the time or energy to do it right now). Work I knew nothing about, yet my workplace had bid for it - just not calculated how long it would take, or even worried about who would do it. And you know, I've just been taken advantage of too much.
So this last glass rod landed and the whole pile shattered. I heard them fall. I clutched and grabbed. I tried to pass some along to my hubby. But by Saturday, he'd declined the glass rod pass and I dropped the lot. Not a thing I could do but sob as they all fell, smashing to smithereens on the hard ground at my feet. Glass everywhere. A mess. A huge mess.
And so I slept. I got off the world and slept. Sunday vanished. Then Sunday night, hubby dragged me up. I was reluctant. No wish to carry anyone's glass rods again.
And Monday I got antibiotics for the chest infection I've had for at least 2 weeks (except I had to have the wrong medication first for some reason - oh, probably so all those rods could fall) and I've been struggling. There's not much to salvage but it's hard to just walk away from the wreck.
I feel like I am entrusted with glass rods. I hold out my arms and during my life, glass rods are slipped onto them. I carry them through life, sometimes passing them to others, sometimes holding them gently.
Last week I had a few too many land on me at once, unbalanced and not gently enough. I was teetering. I've been teetering for a while now but last week was where I knew they were going to fall.
And then after all the deaths and problems, on top of a cold, I had a phone call about work. A huge amount of excess work to arrive on my lap. Work I didn't need (well, of course I need the money, just don;t have the time or energy to do it right now). Work I knew nothing about, yet my workplace had bid for it - just not calculated how long it would take, or even worried about who would do it. And you know, I've just been taken advantage of too much.
So this last glass rod landed and the whole pile shattered. I heard them fall. I clutched and grabbed. I tried to pass some along to my hubby. But by Saturday, he'd declined the glass rod pass and I dropped the lot. Not a thing I could do but sob as they all fell, smashing to smithereens on the hard ground at my feet. Glass everywhere. A mess. A huge mess.
And so I slept. I got off the world and slept. Sunday vanished. Then Sunday night, hubby dragged me up. I was reluctant. No wish to carry anyone's glass rods again.
And Monday I got antibiotics for the chest infection I've had for at least 2 weeks (except I had to have the wrong medication first for some reason - oh, probably so all those rods could fall) and I've been struggling. There's not much to salvage but it's hard to just walk away from the wreck.
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