Achievements and CFS

A mixed thoughts post today about writing and health.

I've been battling health issues since last November. I have CFS, so my immune system struggles at the best of times, but I'm of the age where hormonal fluctuations (peri-menopause and menopause) are also occurring. I don't know that the two go together very well. I have had a constant stream of viral attacks since November (often affecting my sinuses - voice and ears especially).

My GP keeps smiling and telling me I have another virus - get plenty of fluids and rest. But when I became overly concerned, I did a round of specialists to rule out anything sinister. They were ruled out - thankfully.

Autoimmune issues are rife in my extended family with almost every autoimmune illness covered by at least one relation, if not more. This doesn't say a lot for my genes, does it!!

So, I'm battling through each day. Luckily, I can manage my day job because I work from home at the hours I can manage. I've been in the same day job since just after I contracted Ross River...because I needed a job where I could manage my health first. Income drops when I'm not well, as my hours drop. But I usually manage to keep my head above water by doing what I can - and ignoring the rest of the world.

Sorry to the rest of the world. But I'm especially sorry to family and friends who I cannot keep up with during these times. It breaks my heart to miss things that are important.

However, during all this health upheaval, I was asked if I was interested in working on a book as part of a 3-author linked series. Different to Dulili, with different authors and a different focus...but it was something I'd been thinking about. So without hesitation, I said, "YES!"

And you know that saying about, agreeing to do something, then working out how to do it later, well, that was me! I'd committed, hoping my health would improve, and, well, it wasn't. Not really. Not as I'd hoped.

I had 3 months to write 50K for this story. I didn't have time to panic. I didn't have time to mess it up. I had to pace myself, trust my process, and have faith.

So I set an end of June deadline for myself to have the first draft finished. I was a few days late, and my hero was 'wrong'. Trouble was, I didn't know what was wrong, just that he was wrong.

Cue two writing friends who got in and read quickly for me. Then I did a story breakdown, my process, and between the three of us, I discovered what was wrong.

It's now the 5th of July. I have to submit on the 31st July. I had twenty-something chapters, so I had to do a chapter a day, no matter how badly I was feeling, and on good days, more.

And I didn't manage a chapter every day. But I couldn't beat myself up because I didn't have time, or energy.

So head down, I got through it. (And luckily work was busy but not insane - that bit helps so much!).

I wrote a 50K story in a 3 month window when I wasn't well. I did what I thought was impossible.

It's submitted now...and hopefully it's okay...but if not, then I can rework it in edits (hopefully) and make it better.

And now I have more confidence to go and tackle my never-ending rewrites for my never-ending story. I can do this.

Even with CFS, viral overloads, hormones in crazy freefalls, I can write. I can achieve deadlines. I might need a week to recover afterwards, but it is possible.

And that is an amazing feeling.

How do you manage deadlines, or being out of your depth?